spirit guides

My Chequered Past

I consider all the experiences where a ‘guide’ presented itself and I contemplate. It seems like a story I told myself to remember, remember where I am, who I am, and why I am here.

The first time I was aware of a spirit who was soon to be known as always by my side, was at work, when I was 16. A co-worker said there was a man in a chequered shirt standing on my right. I wondered how she had seen him and noticed I was standing next to a plain blue wall, which may have given her a better template.

3 years goes by, another job, another co-worker, told me that I always had a guy taller than me standing on my right wearing a chequered shirt. As soon as she said that my right shoulder fell to an energetic weight on it. This same energetic sensation was felt at odd times over the coming years.

Less than 12 months on, I am traveling up the East Coast of Australia when the first sign I recall having was plastered on a billboard and a few days later I am travelling 12 hours inland to the outback for a job for 7 weeks. One night a patriot of the bar I was working at, followed me back to my room, I had just approached the door down a long corridor, and he had was at the other end, the manager of the bar with a stern voice directed him back to the bar. Every night I pushed a small refrigerator up against the door because there was no lock, this night I was fearful the fridge would not sustain a good push.

I woke up during the night to a guy wearing a red and black chequered shirt hovering horizontal 1 or so feet away from me, face to face. Not countering all those details into the equation, I punched him and my fist went straight through him and he disappeared. Was that an astral body of someone who was incarnated? Was it a wandering spirit who hasn’t made their way to the other side? Was that my guide? Or was it me visually seeing something in which I was so fearful of happening.

Years later, someone who saw spirit, mentioned that our guides can hover over us while we sleep to protect us, especially to stop the body been entered by something else if we are astral travelling. I also recall seeing who at the time I thought was a Great Uncle who had recently passed. I was 7-8 years old, and the spirit or imprint that I saw was wearing a chequered shirt.

Fast track to a couple of different readers over the years where all of them referred to this guide and he now had a name with a little background story attached.

In between these readers I started feeling a physical presence of pressure against my body upon awakening as if someone was lying in bed with me. Was this a figment of my imagination as it started to happen after I had split from a committed relationship? Whatever the case, I would enjoy the moment until it passed.

A few more years roll by, and I am driving to pick up a friend to go to a reader she has been to before, with that factor in mind and the distance to drive a few hours I decided to have one too. I was 30 minutes from where I was picking her up and I thought I should turn off the music and talk to H (what I will refer to from here as my supposed guide).

“Ok H, I am going to a reader and well he is meant to be good, so I was wondering if you could be with me during the session, help him pick up on everything I want to know or should know.”
I look to my left expecting to see someone sitting in the passenger seat.
“Was that you?”
“So, can we talk?”
“So, I don’t need to go to a reader, I don’t need this reading…”
And the dialogue continued, I asked about some pressing matters I had at that time.

This profound new thing became a part of my personal growth journey. I started tapping into the consciousness of history and helping mum with her family’s genealogy research. I learnt some healing techniques where the random people I had on the chair or table would feel sensations all over their body, the problems move out of there body and the body alignments. I had giant leaps in my abilities which I had ignored and suppressed.

This same reader also introduced me too 2 other supposed guides. One was a healer, that looked like me, which I later self-learnt was me from a past life and when I was doing this type of work, I was tapping into all her wisdom and experiences. The other was a supposed protector, something that this reader of 50 years had never come across, ‘very powerful’. The first time I called on his protection I visually sensed a sonic boom ripple out and over the land I was on. I had tried searching for this name to find out if there was any connection in history and to no prevail, to years later having a dream that highlighted a book that I had never heard of. Upon finding this book published in 1882, not knowing that the dream was pointing to reading this name, I skimmed over the pages and with eyes wide open came across.

The definition:
Guardian angels who are appointed over mortals, to be with them during life. They deliver the spirit in time of death into the hands of the asaphs. They also keep the record of the mortal, which is also given to the asaphs in heaven, along with the new-born spirit, which is called an es’yan, for a certain season.


So, I have one who is a past life of mine where she was a healer and another whose name is attached with being a guardian angel. So where does H fit in?

H has been a part of some pivotal experiences, accompanying visions of the future, providing clarity on concepts and he has some classic teaching methods. A lesson on dreams was a memorable one. In a dream we were standing opposite ends of a swimming pool and we both dove in together at the same time, we met in the middle and he held me down. In the moment I couldn’t understand why he would do that, then I realised this was a dream and I could breathe under water if I wanted too, only to awaken and realise he didn’t have his chequered shirt on, I couldn’t even remember what he looked like, yet I dream sensed it was him.

Over the years the communication has transformed and evolved. Then one day I felt a ton of bricks crush me. That communication has gone. I went through all the experiences and events from start to finish and I realised the training wheels had come off and I was peddling on my own to still think that we were communicating. I realised the lesson, within itself, to go within and use my own discernment, intuition, and senses. I kept asking myself the question, ‘who would I trust with my life’, the answer was always me, so here I am, training wheels off and tears rolling down my cheeks cause I keep falling off and grazing my knees.

Did I create this journey to get to this point? Was the journey always to lead me in the right direction, within?

The reminiscing, contemplation and act of writing this piece has given me the inner strength and energy to understand the journey. Upon writing this piece I asked a wise friend what his thoughts were on guides.

“A guide is like the blind leading the deaf, dumb, and blind. Guides are handy at first then they fall away, much like a ladder and its rungs, handy at first but eventually falls away cause its not needed, you’ve reached that loftiness”.